Snuggies, The Clapper, and that ShamWow plonker.

January 8, 2009

Im sure by now, you have all seen this ridiculous piece of garbage that they sell on tv, the snuggie. snuggie

And as you all know, this 20 dollar item, (Im sure its closer to 30 shipped), is made of luxurious fleece, and is essentially a blanket with sleeves.   I believe that this product falls into the ‘fucking with old people’ category.  Im not sure if Im just noticing more of these items recently, or if they are actually marketing more of them, but there are a lot of them out there. (The mysteriously realistic wii controller full of gum comes to mind.)

The Clapper AND the Chia pet have both come back into existence as well, and are being marketed fiercely during prime time television. What? Who is buying this shit?  As much as seeing a clapper commercial, (btw, did they use the same fucking one from 1988?), brings back fond childhood memories of eating fishsticks at my grandmoms house and watching ducktales and whatnot… seriously, what the fuck….How did this happen? Did they just have a warehouse full of chia pets and fucking clappers that they stumbled across one day? Is there just some asshole in Iowa like, “oh shit, better sell these fuckers while theyre stil hot..”

The odd thing about these infomercials popping back up is that they are hitting in prime time, and I dont even remember them being on at night when I was a kid.  And thats when chia pets were the fucking hotness.

Maybe America just needs a dose of late 80s nostalgia?

In reality, of course, its a result of the fucked up economy driving down advertising prices and everything, enabling these dickbags to peddle their useless shit directly into your living room.

In other shit-that-pisses-me-off news, this fuck:

18106400id2Does hiring an annoying, over-excited, N’SYNC-headset-wearing, faux-hawk sporting, spray tanned, fake accent having, assfuck make you sell more rags on your infomercial?  This guy and the oxy-clean guy that screams all of his sentences need to have their larynxes removed.  I am going to start making empty threats to stop watching TV if I see this tool one more time. And I mean that.

Love it or hate it though, headset wearing dickholes selling magic towels on tv is pure Americana.


7 Responses to “Snuggies, The Clapper, and that ShamWow plonker.”

  1. ned neidelander said

    A.G.Place, izzat u? You’ve started blogging i see? I really wish they could’ve come up with atleast a half cheezy name than ‘blog’. But anyway man these commercials are the main source of people’s creativity these days. It’s sickening. And i’m a hypocrite….I have more than one blog site, and i sell stuff online. So i do suck. But these infomercials and just commercials in general suck even more. Say you put on a good show. Which doesn’t happen very often on TV. And you’re getting into it when a fn commercial comes on, ten pitches louder than your program you’re watchin. You get taken away from you’re little world of goodshow, into the real fucking world these days. Then before you know it, you’re show comes back on, all quiet, so you don’t even know it’s back on, except for the lack of noise.
    Then no more then 5 minutes later, another muthafn commercial! The farther the show gets, the shorter time it takes for commercials. And it’s not like the comm. time is shortened, but you’re hour long show is reduced to an ‘edited for time and content’ peice of ‘standards and practices’ shit.
    Oh, and what about the OVERUSE of the word bailout. Talk about Americana these days. I’m surprised South Park hasn’t done an episode about that fuckin word. Write a blog about that one man. I can’t wait.
    Your new fan. T

  2. L.J. said

    The Snuggies are useful in starting your own cult.

    Ever try to turn on a light with the clapper by farting?

    The Romans had Chia Pets. Then their empire collapsed. God help us.

  3. Jeff said

    You should include Flirty Girl Fitness. And for what it’s worth, I think the Shamwow guy rules. Snuggie’s are for gays though.

  4. Jeff said

    I figured out why I thought the Shamwow guy was cool. Watch this:

    “You’re gonna love my nuts”

  5. I enjoy how you write. Keep it up!

  6. jesusthinksyoureajerk said

    HAHAHAHAHAH – Youre gonna love my nuts!!!

    Thanks for the comments everyone!! Ill try to keep this shit entertaining!

  7. Jen said

    I have a present for you tonight pertaining to this blog, it is not a snuggie.

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